HEART OF DARKNESS by Joseph Conrad

Dear subscribers/readers/followers,

I’m writing to inform you that from now on until probably the end of June 2016 I will only be reviewing “works of literature” only. Because my AP Literature class is…challenging and when put in context with my Stats and Physics and applications and writting and test, I really have zero time to read fiction…like GOOD mind blowing OMG freaking out fiction. I also want to inform you that my writing will probably get better whether I want to or not because my wonderful teacher is slowly brainwashing us to being able to write impeccably and is slowly engraining large vocabulary words in our heads to become better speakers and sound smart in whatever we say even if what we’re saying isn’t smart at all.

BUT I WILL NOT SUCCUMB! I WILL FIGHT TOOTH AND NAIL TO MAINTAIN MY TEXT TALK AND WILD-FANGIRL-IN-LOVE-WITH-FICTIONAL-CHARACTER WAY OF SPEAKING!!! Hahah, not. Just wait and see…by the end of my senior year I’ll be writing formally effortlessly.

Anywho, lets get to the review shall we! Yes!!!

I hated the book! And I’m not ashamed to say I hated it because I am an African and regardless that the book was written ages ago and that I’m not even from Congo, it was deeply offensive. I read Huckleberry Finn and it wasn’t this bad. I even liked Huck Finn because of the strong message and the way the book conveyed that message. But Heart of Darkness, uh-un. Nope. But as a literary critic, I have to look past any personal setbacks and review the book. My conclusion?

I still hate it! My reasons this time however are different. I liked the theme of the story, the message it was supposed to communicate: Civilized humans cloak themselves in good, innocence and purity when under the thin veneer of it all, they are essentially evil; “savages” and “uncivilized” humans do not cloak their evil and are therefore seen as the negative connotation and denoation of the words “savage” and “uncivilized”. Conrad does this by giving examples of the chaining and slavery of the naitive people in their own land, their own territory, and the degrading of their own lives as they were regarded as animals and property, not humans. I love that. His message is clear and good you know.

But THE WAY HE WRITES IT, THE DIFFICULTY, THE SYMBOL AND ALLUSION IN EVERY WORD…I mean the Scarlett Letter wasn’t this bad. Even Lord of the Flies where something so insignificant as the couch had  HUGE AND MASSIVE role in the text wasn’t that bad. but Heart of Darkness? It’s like you have to understand all the symbols, what every world and period means before you can understand the theme and in a world like today, no one is going to read Heart of Darkness and ponder on good and evil while they drop their kids of for school. They’ll just light read it and say “wow…I agree, Africa is full of wackos that can’t do anything right, I mean look at today!” (European Imperialism is one of the major reasons why many African countries are still unstable)

So yes, sweet message Mr. Kon-Kon (my nickname for Conrad because he was from…(Russia I think) and his original name was some really long name but the Conrad was with a K. But how cool is it that the U.S. is finally NOT paraoid enough to let us read a book about good and evil and civilization by a native Russian. I’m surprised o.o) but super wrong and bad way to go about displaying it. The story itself is weird. Someone is telling the story that someone is telling and in that story that is being told there is someone telling another story…etc. Like what?! And when that interruption happened, I was so, completely and utterly lost like what…is a page torn out of my book or something? Why is there a random quotation and something that has nothing to do with what Marlowe is saying? But…yeah…noooooo


Marlowe reminds me of Spongebob. In fact I’m very confident when I say that Spongebob’s character was probably based of Marlowe. He works for a company who called him because one of their representitives was killed because the representitive went to beat a village chief over two black hens and was killed by the village chief’s son in the process!!! Hmmm…not suspicious at all. This is literarlly (not really) Marlowe:

“Hm…how grave. But I finally get to do my exploring! Yay!!!”

Okay Marlowe. Then his doctor is this very shady looking guy who measures his head and tells him that none of the people who went abroad to work have returned. This is literary (not really) Marlowe:

“Dude, you’re annoying me. Just stop talking about it okay. Let’s move on to a better topic!”

Really, Marlowe? Then his meeting with the Company and the two old ladies KNITTING BLACK WOOL!!! NOPE. NOT SUSPICIOUS AT ALL.

After he goes to Africa, see’s the native Congolese chained, he literarly (not really) says “oohh…they must’ve done something wrong so the white people could show that they want respect.” After that I was done. What kind of author creates SUCH annoying character!!!!!!

And then comes the accountant and I KNOW MARLOWE is Spongebob. Marlowe is like…in love with the Chief Accountant. Like oh my gosh when the Accountant coldly complains about the sick dying native DYING in his presence, Marlowe is so enchanted with the accountant like he can do no wrong and literally (not really) says “yeah, the accountant said so with gentle annoyance”. What??? Gentle Annoyance? Okay Marlowe, your homosexuality is showing! (Freud would be so happy! He would be like “I told you everything revolved around sexual desire!!!”)

So I just feel done. This review is uncomplete but I have to read “A Goodman is Hard to Find” and then read “A White Man’s Burden” and “A Brown Man’s Burden” and I feel like the two poems are going to have so much drama it’s going to be awesome. But then I remember it’s Lit and I’m doing it for a grade and I have other things to do and I just naahh lol.

So that is that. Toodiloo! You should read Heart of Darkness though if you like to deep read stuff!

(Sorry for not italiczing and having so many spelling and…errors in my review but I’m doing this on my phone and my hand is cramping so hard right now so bye)


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